Inspiration.

So I realised that I don't have to have a bunch of people following my posts. All I really need is the ability to post them. I write for the sake of writing. I've been in a weird place lately but a few people in my life and a few mellow dramatic movies made me realize that I need to go after what makes me happy. Everyone is running around trying to be successful but never are. They're always trying to make better what they have and they're trying to do it at such a pace that they're missing it all. I want to be a writer, so instead of pursuing a career in IT in the Navy, why don't I write something? Because it's not as lucrative? Because it's one in a million shot. The field is almost impossible to get into? I don't know but one thing I do know is that I love writing. It makes me happy, and isn't that the point of all the running around making better what we have? To be happy. Your situation could always be better. There is no perfect life. So why go after one? Why don't you just take the best one you can get? Do what makes you happy. No matter what it is, go after it. It took me twenty years, four months and four days to learn this. If you don't go after something how can you ever expect to get it? So starting in February, I'm going to attempt to cross rate into the Mass Communications field. If I don't make it then when my tour expires I will use my GI Bill to go to college and major in English and other writing involved courses. I will publish a book. It doesn't matter if it's good or not because it's not about what happens after I write it. It's about writing it.

So expect to see a lot more posts in the near future, and look forward to my up coming series, Nicholas's Order. Basically it's going to be a story from the point of view of a fictional blogger. Right now it's still only a work in progress but i have to start somewhere.

  -Inddy

New Blog

So I've had an idea. Inspired by James Paterson, I've decided that I want to make another blog. One from the point of view of a fictional character, discovering he's part of a secret reality of some sort. He goes on a dangerous adventure through this new world and the only way to make sure his story gets told if he bites the dust is to update what is happening to him through his blog. You, the reader, will be reading it almost as it happens. Of course I still need to find out exactly what kind of world he's linked to and what sort of danger is poses but the idea is there and I will be updating on it shortly.

Red Dawn (2012) Review

Okay so, Red Dawn came out recently remade from the 1984 version. Opening statement? OUTSTANDING freaking movie!. You know it's very rare now-a-days that a movie can move you. Most of the time they're entertaining to a point. They can keep my interest  but ultimately don't affect me outside the movie theater if even that much. However, Red Dawn (at least this version) had me on the edge of my seat from about 10 minutes in to the end, and when I left the theater, I wanted to go fight some invaders.

In other news, from boob to badass. Josh Peck, better known as his roles in The Amanda Show, and Drake and Josh, stars in this action jam packed movie and does a hell of a job at it. Playing younger brother to Jed Eckert (Chris Hemsworth), a marine home on leave when out of freaking no where South Korea decides to say, "Hi" to the entire Pacific North West. That's all I'm going into for this part of the review. You'll find out all of that in the first 10 minutes so no spoilers there.

I think that Red Dawn was the best movie of the year (barely), but hold on to your tighty whiteys because I have some opinions to voice and I'm about to spoil the CRAP out of the rest of this movie. So skip to the last paragraph if you don't like spoilers.
I could handle The dad dying. The main characters need more motivation than just defending their home town. I could even handle the older brother dying towards the end of the movie. How else is the younger brother supposed to take his place? But, for crying out loud there is NO reason why Daryl Jenkins (Connor Cruise) had to be tagged, tracked, and therefore left behind. It was basically the last thing to happen in the movie before the closing montage, and in all honestly a pointless even on the director's part. So to elaborate, Daryl Jenkins is a sub-main character who lasts through almost the entire movie, (there were plenty of deaths so I was surprised). During the last major attack, he gets stabbed, or so we thought. Later after the assault, back at base the group gets attacked by the Koreans, where the older brother dies. After they escape, they wonder how in the world they were found. They take a closer look at the knife wound, which for the most part is closed, but not healed, and notice an item inside. They come to the conclusion that the item is a tracing device and decide to leave him behind with a few supplies. He was left by his friends and comrades with very few supplies and a giant arrows saying, "HERE I AM!" just so that the movie could have a reason for the group to be found and the older brother die. Honestly, the brother could have died some other way, or they could have gone back into the wound and, painfully, removed the device. They actually bring up that option and claim it's impossible because they have nothing to do it with. I call shenanigans. They had, not one, but two other marines with them at that point. I'm sure they had a knife on them. The reason I'm so worked up about this one event is because, honestly, it made me more sad than any other sad moment, because he was conscious. He was alive, and they made the decision to leave him behind. He wasn't crippled, hurt (other than a knife wound) or causing the party and hindrance other than being tracked, which could easily be solved. Everyone else left behind was either rescued or already dead. I hope to high heaven they make a sequel or something just so I can find out how Daryl did after they left him.

LAST PARAGRAPH! Okay so I'm done ranting about my spoiler moments and now we can continue with the review. All in all, Red Dawn was an AMAZING movie. I'm proud to award this movie my first 10/10 rating despite a certain part mentioned in the spoilers. Congratulations director Dan Bradley. You have made an astounding movie. Easily movie of the year. I advise ANYONE that can comprehend the significance of life death and war to watch the movie, regardless of preference to this genre. So go, go now, and watch it.

Argo Review

So.. Argo. It was an interesting movie. Kinda slow to get started. The movie as a whole doesn't really have any action or really any comedy. So judging it as one isn't really fair. It's basically a suspense movie. The younger generation probably wouldn't be too interested it unless you're one of the few ones who enjoy more of an intellectual  movie. I'm not suggesting you have to be smart or that young people aren't. I'm only saying that since it isn't an action or comedy, it's audience is more limited than most movies today.

Ben Affleck did an amazing job, however, playing exactly the kind of out of the box thinker should in the line of work he was playing in. John Goodman did a good job too. Playing his part seriously as well as a slight comic relief so as to not make the whole thing so serious.

Overall, it's was a fairly entertaining movie. I give it a 7/10. I feel he nature of the movie will get very mixed reviews from different people. If you feel you would enjoy it based off this post then by all means, I recommend it. If you question seeing after reading this, then I wouldn't. If you don't really care and have time to kill, then go for it. You can always walk out of the theater and raise some hell for a refund.

~Inddy

FOOD!

So my car if broken. I can't go anywhere right now. I just wish I could go get some decent food somewhere. Teddy's sounds awesome, just a big hearty burger with everything. So if anyone near by is reading this, wanna go grab something to eat.
Surprisingly this isn't a love post about why Chandra doesn't like me or how I think I should feel about Krissy.
HUNGRY!
~Inddy

Fealing so freaking worthless

Title says it all folks. I feel worthless. My fan belt on my car is old and needs replacement. Well I don't know how to do that. So I ask Chandra (who is working on a car at the moment) to teach me. She jokingly posts a comment about the irony in a girl telling a guy how to fix his car. I laugh it off and jokingly defend myself by saying that I know computers not cars, and that this is the twenty-first century and that is a stereotype. Then a bunch of her macho marine friends start getting on my case about how I should still know basics about it. I can't help that I don't know. Her agreeing with them doesn't help. So not only do I look like a loser in front of Chandra, but I've come to the realization that as long as there are macho guys out there who know all the stereotypical guy stuff, no girl, especially Chandra, will never want to be with a guy like me. I just feel so worthless. I can't even talk to anyone about it, because it wouldn't help my case. Complaining to someone about it would only weaken my case. A 'real' man wouldn't let something like this bother him. They're fight anyway. I should know this stuff, but I don't and now it's too late to learn and impress Chandra. So fuck you, fuck them, and fuck me. I'm a good for nothing piece of shit who can't even succeed in his only endeavor in this stage in his life. I can't help it that I'm not masculine and because of that, no girl will ever choose me over a guy who is. Fuck life.

~Inddy

Here Comes The Boom Review

Okay so I thought about it, and I'm going to be adding reviews of all the movies I watch in here. Just to appeal to a slightly bigger audience. Obviously the title says it all. I went to go see "Here Comes The Boom" tonight. Off of no sleep for twenty-four hours, I had a hard time staying awake for the previews and for the first ten to twenty minutes of the movie. Not to say it wasn't entertaining, I was just tired. After that first twenty minutes though, It kept me awake through out the whole movie. I was on the edge of my seat half the time. My eyes got watery on more than one occasion. Needless to say it was an outstandingly awesome movie. It has to win some awards. It's the first movie in a long time to make me go so in depth with it. It's funny, it's serious, it's heart warming, it's tear jerking, and even a little suspense building.

*SPOILERS*
You have to expect a happy ending though. It just wouldn't be a good movie if they all just lost in the end, so you know he's going to win, but still even to the end I was wondering how he would win, if he would win the actual fight or just take a moral win like they mentioned right before the last round.

Final word... great movie. I highly recommend going to see it. Good for all ages and both genders. I'll give it a rating of 9/10 stars only because it was great but it did lack a theme that I was particularly interested in. I'm not big on wrestling or MMA. Apart from that I loved all of it.

So that's it, go see the movie, stop reading this lame ass review.

~Inddy

2-Steppin

So i got to spend more time with her. We went dancing at a country bar and i learned to 2-step, line dance and waltz. I had a blast and of course enjoyed every minute of getting to see her. It was kind of funny towards the end. On the way home, the two extras we'd brought with us had different rides. So it was just me and her. I don't know how many times I came close to just blurting out everything, ultimately ruining any future plans.

On a better note, got my car stuff taken care of. All in about an hour and a half and under thirty bucks. Other than that, not much has happened since my last entry.

~Inddy

She has no idea how I feel about her. Getting to spend time with her today means more to me than she will ever know. Getting to see her in the dresses was more than I could ask for. She'll never know. She's made it perfectly clear that she's not interested. I don't care that she only has 7 months left before she's leaves. I'd wait until she got back.

To top it all off, my registration expired back in July, but every base on island decided today to notice it. I got a ticket at her base and was almost not let onto my own. Tomorrow I HAVE to get that all fixed. I heard it's expensive though. I hope not. I really hope not.

I can only hope she'll come around.

~Inddy

Just an Update

Title say it all. This is just an update on my life. Well I'm not so depressed that I'm suicidal. I never, I was just being pathetic. I'm still lonely but oh well. What can you do?

So I've been writing a lot, but in an actual physical journal that I bring to work. I mostly write because I'm bored, but that's when some of  my best thoughts strike me. Some of my most profound imaginings happen when I have too much time to think.

Suddenly I have nothing to write about because I don't want to write anything I've already written and nothing particularly new has happened since my last entry in the physical journal.

PRT is coming up in a couple of days. I'm sure I'm going to pass but I need to remember to sign up for an alternate cardio work out. I just wish I could get in shape from only doing sports. I hate actually working out.    I want to get a bike or treadmill in my room but I don't think the BPOs would allow it. I could always ask. I want to be able to watch TV while I exercise. Yeah I know some gyms have TVs and even personal ones, but it just doesn't beat my own 50" TV in my room.

I love my set up. I got an awesome new computer and a new 50 inch TV to go with it.

 I really need to post more pictures. Don't worry I will though. I'm going to be making a video tomorrow of my living space so people back home can get a look at it. It's actually pretty nice in comparison to some of the other sailors.

So yeah that's it.

-Inddy

The odds

So I'm taking my DUI special liberty day tomorrow. Something that I'd planned and put in for at least three weeks ago, and low and behold, I have a mandatory training tomorrow for everyone 18-24, just because someone else got a DUI. I wish the ass holes would realize that they effect everyone else when they fuck up. I don't even drink, and now I have to waste my time going to this stupid training that doesn't even apply to me just because I'm 20. You're probably saying, "Hey, you should be more sympathetic. That person is going through a worse time now." you know what I say? I say good. He freaking deserves it. He's a big boy he knew the consequences. Or at least most of them. He knew it would effect him, but not once did he stop and think how it would effect anyone else. I couldn't give two shits what happens to him. He deserves all of what he's getting.

Anyway, on to better stuff. A lot of updates. My new computer should be here any day now, I can't wait, I'm stoked. Went to the Chevelle concert last night. Was freaking awesome. Probably going home from December 29th to January 19th. I was thinking of getting my own cellphone plan, but I think I'll wait. Until after I get more financially stable. After I've gotten my computer and paid off my small purchases, like fixing my car etc. I'll be getting a pay raise in February, as well as most likely getting E-4 in March. That's when I'll probably get my own plan, as well as trade in my car. One thing at a time. Get my computer, start a steady payment plan, fix the small things on my car. Once that is done i'll focus on other things. Well, I think that's it for now. Grazie.

~Inddy

Digital Storm

So I bought a new computer for $2500 recently. It a beast computer from DigitalStorm.com. It's got most of the best components to date with plenty of room for upgrades. It should be here soon. I can't wait. It's a very late birthday present to myself. I also bought a new computer tray type thing that is finally at the perfect height that I needed. The keyboard works like a charm so that's also a plus. Going to be posting pictures of the comp when it comes in.

In other news I think I'm going to be hanging out with Boland and Tockey more. Boland is a friend of mine I met through Michelle, and Tockey is a guy that worked the same system as me at work for a while. They just got together. I'm not sure what happened to Z and Michelle, but we don't hang out that much anymore. Oh well can't force friends. I just wish Nick or Krissy lived closer so I could see them on a regular basis.

When my new computer comes in, I will be sending this computer to Nick so that we can finally play Minecraft together. I also bought Fraps recording program, so now I'm probably going to be making video game Let's Plays with Nick and/or James. Maybe even a few other guests.

So yeah that's pretty much it for now. Stay tuned if you care enough to read about my life. Till next time.

~Inddy

Odd Life

So I really need to start writing more. I always feel better after but I always think of it being a hassle. I just saw "The Odd Life Of Timothy Green". Oddly it's a really good movie. It's about a couple who can't conceive so they put everything their perfect child would be like into a box and bury it in the garden. Later they find a kid in their house. That's right they GREW their own kid. It has horribly hilarious parts, as well as tear jerkingly sad parts. All around a 8/10.

So on to other stuff. Nothing much has been going on. I've been playing Guild Wars 2 with my supervisor recently. He's a pretty cool guy and I think we're decent friends.

I really need a girlfriend. Honesty I'm not interested in anything serious and I'm not a one night stand kinda guy. I would just like someone I can hang out with and kiss and cuddle occasionally. I saw this one girl at Starbucks the other day. She was ridiculously pretty. She wasn't hot. There's a difference. She had about shoulder length brown hair, gorgeous green eyes, and the perfect freckles isolated on the top of one cheek streaking across the bridge of her nose to the other cheek. I felt that the whole ensemble was the perfect combination of completely normal yet excruciatingly beautiful. I only wish I had the courage to ask her out. As far as I know I'm not even her type, or she's already taken. I know you never know until you ask but I could never work up the nerve.

So I've been skating a lot more lately. I've gotten better fast. I think I have a little bit of natural talent. Been going to the Hickam Skate Hangar. I like ti because it's a wooden park instead of cement. More forgiving. All the skaters there are either military or military brats. Met some kids half my age and they been to four time more places than I have.

I think I might start working on a book. Something to do artistically in my spare time. I mean I've always had good stories I just never put them on paper. The least I can do is record them. I remember in middle school I came up with some pretty twisted stuff. I wouldn't mind doing some of that, but I don't wanna be some Poe wanna-be. We'll see, maybe I'll post some of them on here if I like them enough like I did with the poem. 

I really wish I could get more people to read this. I would like other people's opinions ad advice. So for the few people who read this (if any) could you please spread the word, and if you know of any site that will advertise my blog let me know please.

Until next time
~Inddy

I knew there was something I liked about her

So I'm guessing my blog got a few unknown views because I received a helpful comment from a stranger on one of my previous ones.

So life is okay I guess lately. I mostly just wanted to post my funny dream last night.

So I can't control my dreams. They just happen on their own, I kinda have a little control over my own reaction, and what I say, but only to an extent.

So in the dream, I'm sitting in a small college dorm type room with my buddy Nick. I'm not sure why but the dorm has a curfew and it's already past. Well Nick and I decide that we want a soda. Well we didn't have any in the room and the closest one was down in the common area (off limits after curfew) in the vending machine. So we agree it's better that only one person go to get the sodas so as to not get caught. Well on my way down the stairs, I run into Chandra (another story) but she's a very good friend in real life. Who is also sneaking down to get a soda. We get to the machine and I go to put my money in, and she says to wait. She takes a wedge of metal and puts it in a seam on the machine and the whole thing opens up. She grabs her soda and I grab my two. At that moment, we hear a security guard shout "STOP" and shines a light on us. We know that he's only a threat if he catches us, so we just look at each other, grin, and take off back up the stairs. We part ways at the top and I run to my room. I assume the guard went after her because I didn't hear anything the rest of the way. I get to my room and realize that (for some odd reason) Chandra was holding all the sodas. So when Nick asks where they are, I apologize and sit down and resume whatever it was we were doing. Then out of nowhere our door bursts in, Chandra run over to us, hands us our sodas and plates of hot-pockets and takes off down the hall again, followed by the security guard. I look over at Nick grinning and say, "I knew there was a reason I liked her." (Yes it's no secret).

And that's the end. I thought it was funny.

So yeah what else to talk about.... Oh, well I've been having trouble sleeping as of late. My mind just thinks about everything. So even though I lay down to go to sleep at about midnight, I don't fall asleep until two or three and sometime as late as four thirty. So I haven't had much sleep lately. Last night was fine only because I accidentally fell asleep. I lay down in my bed in an exasperated gesture only to actually fall asleep.

I'm missing home, badly. However, I found out that Steve is planning to take leave in between his current station and his next ship on the east coast. So I want to try to fly home during that time so as to surprise mom twice as much. Just think about how she'll feel when both of her sailors come home at the same time. I'm going to try to see if I can't get James to show up to, then all we'll need is Joel.

So yeah that's about it. Thanks for reading.

~Inddy

Over and over.

You know I could post on here that I was going to kill myself in a week's time and no one would know until day of. Yes this is going to be a whiny little emo post. I think I deserve one. Litterally no one wants to be around me. I'm just realising that I'm a legitimate asshole, and I can't even help. With the navy I'm given tons of new chances with friends, and I fuck every single one of them up. I've been in honorguard for just under a week and already I'm known as the asshole of the group. I can't stand being that way but I can't help it most of the time. It just happens. I wanna know if that's what's driving girls away. If not then what it? I wanna know what's wrong with me. I don't know. There's nothing else to say. Talk to you guys later.. maybe.

~Inddy

Honor, honor, nothing but honor

So as of yesterday, I joined the Honorguard. A bunch of the old stuff from NJROTC came back but I had to change it up a little. People were pretty cool right off the bat. I feel at home. I'm doing something I love and they're patient with me when I mess up. I like it here. It's gonna suck when I have to go back.

So this is my first post from my phone. I'm actually posting this from the van going to Mililani for a burial. I like this whole portable blog thing. So when I get inspired,  I can post on he spot. Anyway that's all for now. Post later.

~Inddy

The Hurricane

So yeah I wrote this poem back in Sophomore year, back when I was really into it. Not so much now but I was so proud of that one poem and I lost it and couldn't remember how it went. I could only remember the first few lines. So here is another poem with the same first lines and similar story, that I wrote on watch. I like to think of it when I get sad about passed friends and relatives.

"A warm summer breeze
blows across my face.
It moves the leaves of the trees
that grow all over this place.
It ripples the grass like water,
and kicks the dust into swirls.
This could quite possible be
the best place in the world."
But one would not know,
based on what they see,
this seemingly perfect place
would soon cease to be.
As I completed the thought,
I looked into the sky,
and saw the dark clouds
that quickly caught my eye.
Then the setting changed
faster that I could blink.
The warm feeling in my stomach
quickly began to sink.
The breeze that flowed, it screamed.
The leaves that moved, they scattered.
Torn from the branches
and the trees that bore them shattered.
The rippling grass, an ocean.
The swirling dust now blinding.
The feelings I felt were real.
The fear I had was binding.
Then as quickly as it had happened,
as quickly as it'd come,
the clouds hastily departed.
I could see the sun.
I looked over the horizon,
the clouds were making distance.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
I certainly wouldn't miss them.
No sooner had I thought the thought,
than I turned around and found
darker clouds, worse than before,
again were my way bound.
I closed my eyes and thought,
there was no escaping my fate.
I knew that I would soon
be with my best mate.
The place I am is awesome,
so please don't shed a tear.
Just always remember,
when you need me, I'll be near.
The man in charge here is perfect.
I know he'll take care of me.
We'll see each other soon.
Just wait... you'll see.

So yeah. Something I thought I'd share.

Unfair

I know the title may lead you to think that I'm going to complain, and be a whiny little bitch, but I'm not. What's unfair is that I've reached a new chapter in life, and I was wanting to start a new blog because it has nothing to do with anything I've written about in the past. However, this posts is about my WHOLE life... and every chapter in it. I fell the overall theme or format or even go as far as to say 'feel' of the posts from now on will be different, almost like they belong in a different blog, coming back to the title. It would be unfair to make a new blog for all two of the people subscribed (but still not reading).
 Basically whats changed is. I've more or less gotten rid of Her. I realized I should have long time ago. I don't regret having her as a friend. I wouldn't be the person I am today or maybe even alive had I not met her. I didn't have my own style when I met her. I still had the default little kid style. The style 90% of american raise their kids as. But this has gone on long enough. She doesn't care anymore, so neither do I. In a way I can tell it'd for the best. There's a bit of a hole to be filled that hurts. I have no idea who's gonna be able to fill it, or if anyone even can. Their pretty big shoes to fill. She's probably the only girl who I would sleep with without even being in a relationship. The only girl that I trust THAT much to do that. I realize now it was a mistake. I feel like I'm one of the last few people that actually respects the act of sex. I won't go as far as to say that it should be reserved for marriage like some people, but I do think it should be practiced by people who do love and trust each other. Some one who you could at least see yourself with for a long time and potentially forever. I felt that way with Her. I realize now by the way she's acting that she didn't. That's the 2nd thing in my entire life I regret. Not because she used me... no I expect to be used throughout my life, but because it was my first time. Yes my first time was when I was 19, deal with it. At the risk of sounding like a 15 year old girl, I wanted my 1st to be special. To be able to walk away from the person after we'd broken up months or even years later with no regrets as to giving her my virginity. I wanted it to be someone who at least though of it as special as I did, even if it wasn't their first time.
 I know it'd probably a little more whiny that I lead you to believe, but in all honesty that's that only thing that bother me about it all. I don't mind we're not friends... had to happen eventually. AS I'm typing this I realize i REALLY need to update my songs folder. I haven't deleted anything since freshman year, so I keep skipping things I'm not into anymore. But yeah... this is a change in the pace of my life and these posts. No more bitching over girls, friends, or family. I'll take who will put up with me, and boot who won't, and those who I can't. Simple as that. Thankfully I never lost touch with Nick. I think he'll be, if not my dad, my best man at my wedding. I can't wait until he gets here. I accidentally started typing the lyrics to the song I'm listening to. You can't tell because I obviously edited it but yeah I laughed at myself.
On a different note, I wish there was a way I could publish this blog to a broader audience. I want random people to read this and comment their opinions. I wan't to see what other people thing about the way I think, and hear about their related problems... so if the two of you NOT reading this know of a way just let me know. If you've ever read the 'Maximum Ride' series, I want something like Fang's blog hehe. I know what you're thinking. This is basically my journal, why would I want the world to see it... why indeed? I just do so get the word out. Talk to you guys later and please talk to me.
~Inddy