This blog only has two followers so I don't think I have any fear of this getting back to the people involved.

At least a few nights a week. I have to sit and watch my crush flirt with my roommate and best friend for 15 years. I can't say anything because I already know she's not interested in me, and to say anything wouldn't help either side. If I said anything to my friend, he would actively avoid romantic interests with her because he's such a good friend, but that would only hurt her. If I told her, she wouldn't return the feelings and now everything is awkward in the group. So I can't say anything because it would only hurt people, It wouldn't help at all. If I don't say anything, she continues to flirt and I'm jealous of my best friend of 15 years. The best friend that nothing has come between for the last decade and a half. I'd be an idiot to let a girl of all things come between that.

So what do I do? Just endure it? Ignore it? Pretend it isn't happening? I honestly don't know what to do.

-Inddy

Jeez it's so fucked up

So I just saw a video of my cousin's wedding. I wasn't there because of the military. But Krissy was. The girl that only knew them, the rest of my family, because if me. The girl that by the time the video was recorded had already stopped talking to me.
I know I write about her a lot and its getting old. Even I'm sick of hearing myself talk about her. I don't love her. Not anymore but to sit there and watch a woman who I used to love be apart of a very important part of my family's life all while I couldn't makes me so mad. The audacity. It's so fucked that she's such good friends with the rest of my family knowing full well that she's all but pushed me out of her life and my family knows it all. They know that she doesn't talk to me. They know how I felt and still they basically replaced me. It makes me want to just say fuck them all and live the rest of my life without a family. Doesn't feel like I really have one now anyway. It wouldn't really be any different.

-Inddy